How hard is it to say goodbye?
A month ago, I didn't know the answer to that, I really didn't. Not having lost any member of my family since I was 8, I didn't really understand grief.
A month ago today I lost my beloved gran Ngaire (my mother's mother). She was one of the most beautiful, selfless, amazing people I have been blessed to have known in my life. She was what every grandmother should be. I remember her making sure my manners were up to scratch (such as washing my hands before dinner, not interrupting people - which admittedly I am rather bad at - not talking while eating etc) and I am so thankful she took that time to correct that. I could imagine what terrible manners I might still have, not that my mum and dad weren't good at parenting, because they were, but she was just that little extra parenting.
She was so kind, so loving and so caring and didn't have a bad word to say about anyone. She lived to the ripe old age of 91 and I am so thankful she was around for my 27 years of life.
Then on Monday morning, the 20th October, exactly four weeks later, at approximately the same time. I lost my beloved granddad George. (On the opposite side of the family - my father's father). To lose another grandparent so soon after losing another was one of the most devastating things I have ever experienced. My granddad was one of the good guys, a lot like my gran, similar in character, just quite simply amazing. He was basically the only grandfather I had known because my poppa died when I was 8. He was always willing to help and still pottering around in his garden at 89 years of age. He and my nana had been married for 65 years when he passed.
So in the space of a month, I went from having three grandparents to having one.
I miss them both so much.
Rest in peace Granddad. Rest in peace Gran.
I love you both always.